Temporarily back on crutches, this time for the left leg!
Several years ago during a difficult period of my life, I was into listening to Ram Dass talks on my MP3 player while I took walks out in nature. One particular point that I distinctly remember from those talks is “when we wish it were different, we suffer.” What Ram Dass was saying is that when we rail against life – against the way things have turned out – we suffer. We have our own idea of the way things should be…our own expectations (ooo those are insidious, aren’t they). And when life doesn’t follow our little ‘personal protocol,’ and we decide that a situation is “bad” rather than accepting it as simply a part of life, we suffer. We of course have a choice in how we react to what happens in our lives, and it takes real humility to gracefully accept what is rather than resist it and push against it and wish for a different outcome.
Case in point:
Last Friday I was going down the stairs on my way to work (having just gotten off crutches two days prior) when I stepped down wrong and sprained my good ankle. It rolled under me, popped, and I crumpled onto the stairs. Cursing it all, I sulked back up to the apartment and got my crutches. And with this unexpected turn of events, suddenly my bad foot was forced to be my good foot, which it was certainly not ready for. I went to the doctor and got x-rays just to make sure nothing was broken (nothing was!) and since I could hardly walk at all, I hung very low (literally) for the next few days and got around the house mostly by crawling on painful knees that have been carpet burned, bruised, re-bruised, and then bruised again by the previous 6 weeks of crawling around on our carpet and tile floors. I looked pathetic, with an air cast on one foot and a splint on the other. And to top it all off (oh yes, there’s more!), I even managed to burn the fingerprints right off my left hand. (I was standing in the kitchen, lost my balance, grabbed for the stove, and touched a very hot burner.) And I had a splitting headache.
It’s during times like this that we would do well to remember to just accept life as it comes; to not resist it. I did my best to accept the situation as it was, and not wish it were different. I didn’t totally succeed, but just having that thought in my mind helped me to step back and see the big picture, remembering that my limited mobility is only temporary. The real challenge, I think, is to apply this concept to permanent situations that are not — and never will be — ideal, such as chronic pain, permanent disability or disease, the premature death of a loved one, missed opportunities, lifelong regrets, etc. A tall order for sure, and one I’ll probably be forever working on!
So if there’s nothing we can do about an unpleasant situation, here’s to not wasting any more mental energy on wishing it were different!
(Epilogue: Now a week later, my ankle is doing much better and I’m walking without crutches again. I am so so glad. 🙂 )
Poor lady! I’ve been there and done that. Two years ago I was watering my roses in my nice backyard at 2PM during the week. My nutty neighbor’s even nuttier 66 year old boyfriend who is schizophrenic came bursting out of the back door cursing me and accusing me of bizarre things! I’ve known him for years and tho’ he lives several blocks away, he comes over too often. He started climbing the 6 foot chain link fence between our yards to cut my head off, and I was terrified since all I had was a water hose and a trowel! I’m in my 70s have bad knees and as I struggled to go in and call the police, I wrenched my back! Crying and so scared, I called the police. Of course he had left by then, but they did talk to the lady who is as nutty as he is. She wouldn’t cooperate. I told the police where he lived and they went over & talked to him. Had to file two complaints myself, but my lawyer said we couldn’t file a restraining order since he actually didn’t get onto my property. Great!
They did background checks on him and my neighbor. Turns out they are both mentally disturbed. I’ve told her I will do whatever I have to in order to defend myself, including my .38 which I know how to use and that is true. Then for the next 2 years I’ve had to wear a back brace, knee braces, have physical therapy and such. Always something it seems, but now I go out in my yard with: a phone, a key ring with tear gas cartridge on it, and often with my .38 in my pocket! So sad.
Tried again last month to reason with the lady but she is completely unreasonable even tho’ he got her kicked out of her profession (counseling) and he slaps her around. I give up. And I hate living that way, having to be so watchful.
Glad I know crime watch people & policemen and have two good lawyers.
Regards,
Jeanette,
What an ordeal! It must be very hard to not wish THAT situation were different! 🙁